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Self Confidence
Confidence is not something that can be learned like a set of rules;
confidence is a state of mind. Positive thinking, practice, training, knowledge
and talking to other people are all useful ways to help improve or boost your
confidence levels. Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of
your body and mind (self-esteem) and belief in your own ability, skills and
experience. Low-confidence can be a result of many factors including:
Fear of
the unknown, criticism, being unhappy with personal appearance (self-esteem),
feeling unprepared, poor time-management, lack of knowledge and previous
failures. Confidence is not a static measure, our confidence to perform roles
and tasks can increase and decrease; some days we may feel more confident than others.
This page provides practical advice about things that you can do to build your
confidence.
Confidence and self-esteem are not the same thing, although they
are often linked. Confidence is the term we use to describe how we feel about
our ability to perform roles, functions and tasks. Self-esteem is how we feel
about ourselves, the way we look, the way we think - whether or not we feel
worthy or valued. People with low self-esteem often also suffer from generally
low confidence, but people with good self-esteem can also have low confidence.
It is also perfectly possible for people with low self-esteem to be very
confident in some areas. For more discussion see our page: What is
Self-Esteem?. Performing a role or completing a task confidently is not about
not making mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable, especially when doing something
new.
Confidence includes knowing what to do when mistakes come to light and
therefore is also about problem solving and decision making. Visit our sections
on both Problem Solving and Decision Making for more information. Ways to
Improve Confidence Planning and Preparation People often feel less confident
about new or potentially difficult situations. Perhaps the most important
factor in developing confidence is planning and preparing for the unknown. If
you are applying for a new job for example, you would be wise to prepare for
the interview. Plan what you would want to say in the interview and think about
some of the questions that you may be asked. Practise your answers with friends
or colleagues and gain their feedback.
There are many other examples of
planning for an interview, perhaps you should visit the hairdresser before you
go. How are you going to travel to the interview, how long will the journey
take? What should you wear? Take control of unknown situations the best you
can, break down tasks into smaller sub-tasks and plan as many as you can.
Learning, Knowledge and Training Learning and research can help us to feel more
confident about our ability to handle situations, roles and tasks. See our
pages: What is Learning? and Lifelong Learning for more information. Knowing
what to expect and how and why things are done will add to your awareness and
usually make you feel more prepared and ultimately more confident.
Learning and
gaining knowledge can sometimes make us feel less confident about our abilities
to perform roles and tasks, when this happens we need to combine our knowledge
with experience. By doing something we have learned a lot about we put theory
to practice which develops confidence and adds to the learning and
comprehension. First-time parents to-be may well feel nervous and less than
confident about having a baby. They are likely to buy books or visit websites
which can offer advice and dispel some of the mysteries. They are also likely
to talk to other parents to gain knowledge and understanding. In the workplace,
training may be provided for staff to teach them how to manage or work with new
systems and procedures. During a period of organisational change this is
particularly important as many people will naturally resist changes. However if
those affected by the changes are given adequate information and training then
such resistances can usually be minimised. See our section: Study Skills, not
just for students, learn how to learn more effectively. Positive Thought
Positive thought can be a very powerful way of improving confidence.
Optimism
is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and
confidence. Helen Keller - Author, political activist, and lecturer. The first
deaf and blind person to earn a BA degree in the US. There is a lot of
information about positive thinking both online and in print. The basic rules
of positive thinking are to highlight your strengths and successes and learn
from your weaknesses and mistakes. This is a lot easier than it sounds, we
often dwell on things that we are not happy with from our past - making them
into bigger issues than they need to be. These negative thoughts can be very
damaging to confidence and your ability to achieve goals. Try to recondition
the way you think about your life: Know your strengths and weaknesses. Write a
list of things that you are good at and things that you know need improvement.
Discuss your list with friends and family, inevitably they will be able to add
to the list. Celebrate and develop your strengths and find ways to improve or
manage your weaknesses. We all make mistakes. Don't think of your mistakes as
negatives but rather as learning opportunities. Accept compliments and
compliment yourself.
When you receive a compliment from somebody else, thank
them and ask for more details; what exactly did they like? Recognise your own
achievements and celebrate them by rewarding yourself and telling friends and
family about them. Use criticism as a learning experience. Everybody sees the
world differently, from their own perspective, what works for one person may
not work for another. Criticism is just the opinion of somebody else. Be
assertive when receiving criticism, don't reply in a defensive way or let
criticism lower your self-esteem. Listen to the criticism and make sure that
you understand what is being said, use criticism as a way to learn and improve.
See our page: Dealing with Criticism for more information. Try to stay
generally cheerful and have a positive outlook on life. Only complain or
criticise when necessary and when you do, do so in a constructive way. Offer
others compliments and congratulate them on their successes. Talking to Others
and Following Their Lead Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.
Vince Lombardi - Successful American Football coach. Generally people are
attracted to confident people - confidence is one of the main characteristics
of charisma. See our page: What is Charisma? for a full explanation. Speaking
to and being around people who are confident will usually help you to feel more
confident. Learn from others who are successful in fulfilling the tasks and
goals that you wish to achieve - let their confidence rub off on you. As you
become more confident then offer help and advice, become a role-model for
somebody less confident. Experience As we successfully complete tasks and
goals, our confidence that we can complete the same and similar tasks again
increases.
Gaining experience and taking the first step can, however, be very
difficult. Often the thought of starting something new is worse than actually
doing it, this is where preparation, learning and thinking positively can help.
Break roles and tasks down into small achievable goals. Make each one of your
goals fit SMART criteria. That is to make goals Specific, Measurable,
Attainable, Realistic and Timed. Be Assertive Being assertive means standing up
for what you believe in and sticking to your principles. Being assertive also
means that you can change your mind if you believe it is the right thing to do,
not because you are under pressure from somebody else. Assertiveness,
confidence and self-esteem are all very closely linked - usually people become
naturally more assertive as they develop their confidence.....!!
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